Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Randomize
