I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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