You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
