Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
