You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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