I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
