I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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