I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
