Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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