I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
