i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
