He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
