Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
