If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
