the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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