Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
