I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
