My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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