Apparently you make a good broom.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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