as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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