you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize
