hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
this hospital has no fireball
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Randomize
