Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
