planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
