Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
