I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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