sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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