john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
