maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
