There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
