I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
