You're completely useless in the revolution.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
