saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
