You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
