Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
