Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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