We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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