I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
