I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
