It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
