sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
