HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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