hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
