try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
