This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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