the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
