I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
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