they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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