all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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