He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
