I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
